Do I remind you of the pain?

That he put you through girl?

Is that the reason I’m to blame

Before I do it

Is it because he treated you badly

I always stand accused?

Protecting yourself from somebody else

I’m not who’s hurting you, girl..

And it’s killing me girl

Knowing, you compare me to him

Always guilty before the sin

I can’t win, I can’t win, no

I’ll do anything to prove I love you

Baby girl but I refuse to

Pay for something I didn’t do

I love you, girl

But I refuse to stay paying for his mistakes

His mistakes by usher. I got this song from Adeeq yesterday, it’s nice, really. Thanks deeq =)

Anyway, I’ve been through some hard times since last week. It was not easy, really, I broke down and cried. That’s what I do most of the time I guess. Sleepless nights, nightmares, no appetite at all.. Yeah.. I could barely eat, barely speak, barely smile and barely move =D Without Allah, my family, without evols, my friends and teachers I don’t think I’d be able to stand up right now so thank you kamu =) I owe you guys, really. Last Sunday, there was ‘this thing’ that I don’t think I’d be able to forget, ever and it made me thinking, what if it happens? I’m lucky it didn’t ‘happen’ to me well maybe but yeah. Every moment of that ‘thing’ made me tremble uncontrollably, it’s like I’m in this situation where I can’t move at all because I froze! And there is nothing I can do about it. A day after that, something ‘bad’ happen to my leg, till now. I can hardly move because of that, it affect me, it affect my every move, my studies, everything.. The pain came from my left leg and move upward towards my left hand and then it spreads to the other parts. I lied, I act as if nothing happen but eventually they found out that there is something wrong with me. I know it doesn’t work at all but what’s done is done, it just happened. I almost give up, I can’t stand the pain and all the doc gave was some painkiller but still it had no effect on me, it doesn’t even ease the pain, instead it goes on and on, endlessly. Doc doesn’t even know what is actually happening to me, what is the cause of that pain and so did I. I have no idea, it came just like that.. All of a sudden and unexpectedly. It really hurts; I don’t want to go beurut and all lagi. I know babah wants me to go to hospital and beurut but I just can’t. I’m sorry for making you guys worry esp. babah, sorry cause I lied. I’m truly sorry but I’ll be just fine. I’ll be all right so don’t worry? =D I know you guys are so worried about me but I’m okay, really =)

Anyway, I would like to say thank you to all of you. To my parents, my family, cousins, Evols, friends and teachers thank you and I’m sorry cause I made kamu worry, sorry. Susah saja kamu.

-Thank you evols, Nan and Lee for listening to all my complaints and giving me some advice =D

-Thank you Deeq, hehe sian kau jadi ‘tongkatku’ tiap2 hari haha nada wahh, I owe you! Terharuku ehh, kau sayang akukan? ;D

-Thank you Deejah, Nisa, Zizan, Qawi, Hafiz, Ziah, Pjul and my Eas mates; Jeer, Zirah and Ziemah for the advice :)

-Thank you Ernna, Maj, Zar, Mar, Najla, Mimi, Fiqah, Man, Thirah, Sibah, Mali, Simaa, Kinah, Teachers

-Thank you to kamu, all of you =’) and of course to him, thank you =) don’t worry about me, I’ll be all right. And Nan, Mali and Man, thank you for the advice. You’re right; I’m not good in pretending or lying. Hehe I remember Mali said this to me, ‘Inda sesuai kau menipu ah’ haha yeah maybe I’m not :p Nan and Man, yeah I'll stop pretending but for now umm I don’t know ;P

I don't wanna fall in love

Just wanna have a little fun,

But then you came

You swept me up and now I'm done so done..